No.

No means No.

Bonjour.

Carl, I know it’s you.

Oh, hey, man.

I was just about to call you. That’s so weird. Had your number dialed, was about to press “send”.

Did you block your number?

Yeah, I did. You never answer when I don’t.

So what are you doing?

Oh, just hanging out in my apartment.

You did get my text, right?

What? Text? What?

We’re all going out tonight.

Oh, man, that sounds great. I wish I could join you.

I’m just so jammed up. I’m totally off the grid, you know what I mean?

Uh, no, I don’t. At all.

I got a bunch of stuff going on. There’s this thing I gotta do.

Any other night would have been great. Darn it to heck.

Thing? What thing?

A thing. You know? Just a thing.

If I had my thing in front of me I could tell you what it is, but … I know there’s a thing.

A thing, huh?

You know? I don’t think there’s anything written down in your fake calendar.

No, it’s a specific thing.

A specific thing, like get in line at the video store?

What? What are you talking about?

I’m not at the video store. I’m in my apartment.

I can see you Carl. I’m outside the video store.

That’s not me.

It’s not?

Oh, I know what’s happening. There’s this guy who looks just like me, who goes to a lot of the same video stores. That’s probably who you are seeing right now.

Wow, that’s amazing, because his mouth is moving exact sync with what you’re saying.

Carl, I know you are not saying anything.

Carl, get outside.

I know you are not talking.

What?

Carl.

All right.